


Lost When Found

by amosanguis



Category: Supernatural
Genre: John's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-06
Updated: 2013-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 09:20:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amosanguis/pseuds/amosanguis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Dean. He’s - Dad, Dean’s dying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost When Found

-z-

**_Father, father, where are you going_ **  
**_O do not walk so fast._ **  
**_Speak father, speak to you little boy_ **  
**_Or else I shall be lost._ **

**_The night was dark no father was there_ **  
**_The child was wet with dew_ **  
**_The mire was deep, and the child did weep_ **  
**_And away the vapour flew._ **

It’s been so long since he’s last seen his boys; since he’s last talk to them.

John knows that he isn’t the best father, not even close. He’s just always demanded too much. But he never deserved this, no father ever deserves  _this_.

 _“Dad,”_  Sam’s voice is harsh, broken _. “We need to talk. Just - call me when you get this,”_  he pauses, takes a shuddering breath, tries to regain some control _, “it’s Dean. He’s - Dad, Dean’s dying.”_

John stares at the phone.

 _“Dean’s_ dying _.”_

His oldest. His best. His perfect little soldier and student.

“I don’t need to worry,” he tells the empty motel room, “Sam’ll take care of it. Those boys are strong.”

 _“Dad, we really need you,”_  there’s anger and hatred in Sam’s voice.  _“I need your help. There’s nothing left, the doctors have already brought him back twice! I don’t know how much longer Dean can hold on. Please, Dad, if not for me, then for Dean!”_

John calls Sam back as soon as he gets the message.

“How’s your brother?” he asks.

Silence.

“Sam?”

“Dean is dead.”

John didn’t even hear the dial tone as he ran to the bathroom and vomited.

It’s been so long since he’s last seen his boys; since he’s last talk to them.

John knows that he wasn’t the best father, not even close. He’s just always demanded a bit too much. But he never deserved  _this_ ; no father ever deserves to outlive their own son.

_**The little boy lost in the lonely fen,** _  
_**Led by the wandering light,** _  
_**Began to cry, but God, ever nigh,** _  
_**Appeared like his father, in white.** _

_**He kissed the child, and by the hand led,** _  
_**And to his mother brought,** _  
_**Who in sorrow pale, through the lonely dale,** _  
_**The little boy weeping sought.** _

-z-

End.

**Author's Note:**

> The two poems used are by William Blake in his book “Songs of Innocence and Experience”. The first is “The Little Boy (lost)” and the second is "The Little Boy (found)."


End file.
